Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
