Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize