Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize