some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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