You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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