Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
are you so shy because you have an std?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
