Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
