I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I love having hate sex.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
