we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
