he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
