this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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