I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
