somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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