But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
