I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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