I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Holy shit dude........stairs
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
