Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
