I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
She tied me up with her honor cords...
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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