my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He passed out mid-signature
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Randomize
