I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
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