if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
