Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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