Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize