Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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