i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
