She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize