This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
