I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
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