I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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