Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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