I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
