Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
