That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
