Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
