There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize