she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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