somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Let's paint friendship bongs
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
