I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
