So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
