And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
