Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
