I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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