she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
