I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
