He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize