come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
