So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
