I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
