I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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