try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Randomize
