I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
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