Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
