i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
