You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He shit in the fireplace
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