At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
