Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize