"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
