we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
