my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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