If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
