left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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