I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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