the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Randomize
